Five Steps to Choosing the Right Gift
Do you know what he wants? Too many guys keep what they want a secret… usually the response you’ll get for asking is along the lines of “I don’t really want anything”.
Believe me, we’re well aware of this situation that too many gift-givers find themselves in; we get quite a few people writing in for advice on what to buy.
Since a lot of people ask us what they should get, but don’t tell us what their guy is like, it’s pretty hard for us to choose the right ideas. We decided that it might help for us to present a definitive How-To for choosing the gifts your guy really wants, for Christmas, for his birthday, or for any other occasion.
There are five steps to finding a good gift:
Research what your guy likes
Use pre-emptive shopping
Avoid certain gifts
Consider certain gifts
Attach a nice note
1. Research what your guy likes
Your guy likes stuff, it’s a fact… if you don’t know what he likes, it’s because you haven’t spent the time thinking about it from a gift-buying perspective. Here are some tips to get you listening to what he wants:
Listen to what he says
On TV: He’ll probably mention something, or at least “Oooh and Ahhh” over one or two products that are being advertised.
While Shopping: Drag him to the mall; it may be painful for the both of you, but the results are worth it. Listen for the same whines of desire while you stroll through the “guy sections”.
While Chatting: If you talk to him about sports, tools, music, or cars for just a moment or two, and you’ll probably get an idea of what he wants.
Snoop around his “guy areas”
Check out what he has: Sometimes the right gift for a guy is an accessory to something he already has.
Check out what he doesn’t have: For example, if he likes the tools, try to find out what should be in the gaping hole in the workshop.
Listen to someone close to your guy
It’s not that you’re not close to the guys on your list, but there may be things that you’re not being told that other people have found out about what your guy wants.
Mother: She knows him well, but may be prone to suggest things he enjoyed during grade school.
Brother or Sister: If his siblings don’t know what to get him, see if you can find something his brother has that your guy doesn’t; that’s usually something he wouldn’t mind having as well.
Friends: These guys will probably have heard him whine about what he wishes he could have.
Wife or Girlfriend: Hopefully the guy you’re buying only has one or the other.
Ask recipient
Your guy may not give you a real answer, but it doesn’t hurt to try. If you’re sneaky, you can trick him into telling you. For example: “What did you mother buy you? Was it any good? What should she have bought you?”
2. Use pre-emptive shopping
Buying a gift is not that different from planning a military campaign… start early and be thorough.
Always plan well in advance.
Use your calendar… that’s what they’re made for… you can’t plan ahead if you realized his birthday was yesterday.
For birthdays, father’s day, etc, start shopping at least two weeks before; start earlier if you think you may want to buy something online, so you don’t have to pay rush shipping charges. For Christmas or other December holidays, it’s better to start the week before Thanksgiving, to beat the rush.
Remember that you don’t NEED to buy on the first day of shopping; that’s why you’ve started looking so far in advance.
Think about joining forces. Not only can you get a more impressive gift than what you could buy on your own, but you can also use another person’s ideas is you’re stuck.
3. Avoid certain gifts
There are several gifts that you should consider avoiding; sometimes a gift comes in too many variations to choose from, while other times the gift idea is just plain bad:
Clothes: unless you’re a reknowned clothes buyer, you may want to avoid buying him anything that involves too much sizing and style decisions. Hats, gloves, and the like are easy enough, but shirts, pants, and footwear are almost impossible to get right.
Gifts You Want For Yourself: you’re probably smart enough not to buy something for him that’s personalized with your name, but you may accidentally get something that’s more for you than for him. When you really like something, it can be easy to convince yourself that he wants it too. Gifts that can often fall into this category include kitchenware, artwork, movies, and music.
Lottery Tickets: it’s not a horrible faux-pas to include lottery tickets with a gift, but it’s not a good idea to make them the gift itself. If your guy is unlucky, the end result of the gift is NOTHING; if he is lucky, you might start resenting him for winning on YOUR ticket.
Offensive Gifts: a good rule to follow with buying the more offensive and off-color gifts is that your guy must be decidedly ruder than you. Keep in mind, too, that while he may enjoy the ruder gifts, he may not appreciate them in certain contexts. If all you got him for Christmas is a “Bikini Inspector” T-Shirt, he may take that as a sign that you think of him as just some crude guy, and nothing more.
Animals and Plants: unless you have a specific reason to think your recipient needs another fish or a new ficus, stay away. Many fine people can’t nurture anything other than a beer, and of those who can, most would rather do their own choosing.
4. Consider certain gifts
Finally, we’re going to give you a quick list of some gifts that have been known to do well:
Lessons for Something: quite a few people would enjoy receiving paid lessons for something they love, since it’s a way of saying that you support them in their hobbies, and it gives them an excuse to be a little more “selfish” with their time. It’s important that you know your guy’s schedule, though; no matter how much he wants to learn to Lambada, he may not have time with his job as President of the United States.
Tickets to the Next Big Event: If you know he’ll enjoy an upcoming concert, sports game, etc., consider picking up a pair of tickets. Keep in mind, though, that if you want to make sure you’re invited along, be sure to keep one of the tickets… giving both tickets to your recipient may create an uncomfortable situation for both of you.
Baked Goods: practically every man enjoys something from the oven; just be sure that it’s one of your better recipes.
Gifts You’re Good at Making: if you’re a woodworker, make a nice woodwork-thingy. The same goes for any talent. Maybe you’re only good at limericks… well, just make sure it’s good (or dirty, as needed).
Stuffed Animals: many guys like stuffed toys, when they receive them from women… it’s like a form of reverse psychology: only a REAL man can handle receiving a cuddly plush koala.
Gift Certificates: despite what some people say, this is a great idea for the right person. If he’s the type of guy who never splurges on himself, a gift certificate will force him to actually buy or do something he wants for once.
Gift Baskets: a themed basket may seem like a cliché, but most people have never actually received one. Perhaps your guy wouldn’t mind feeling like a bigshot.
Liquor: any guy who has a special brand, especially if he never feels he can afford it, would love a bottle of it for any special occasion.
Themed Board Games: if you know your guy enjoys spending time with friends and family, perhaps a board game that matches his interests (baseball, Star Trek, cars) is the right gift — just make sure that he has some friends or relatives who like his hobby enough to play along.
Magazine Subscriptions: if you’ve seen him reading a couple issues of the same magazine, it’s a good idea to look at getting him a subscription. If you are late ordering the subscription (i.e., it won’t start in time), just purchase a newstand copy to present him (along with the news that he’s a subscriber), to tide him over.
5. Attach a nice note
Quite a few guys like to pretend that they don’t like cards or notes with their presents; some guys will unwrap the gift before doing any reading, while others will shake the card in a search for any cash inserts.
Despite this ruse, almost all guys would appreciate a personal message with their gift; it’s a way for you to say that this person is special, and that buying him a gift was not just done out of some sense of obligation.
Most people choose store-bought cards to give; while this is a perfectly reasonable thing to do, we do recommend adding some personal comments to the card. Some people just write a quick message, “I Love You” or “You’re the Best!”, while other people write long passages. The decision on what to write should be made based on what you’re comfortable doing; if you’ve forced yourself to write a certain message, your difficulty in writing it may be apparent to the reader. Some people feel more comfortable attaching a timely quote to their gift cards; we have created a list of
Gift Card Quotes
for a good number of occasions and relationships.
Note: Extra Advice for Husband and Boyfriend Gifts
There are a few extra things to consider when the guy you’re buying for is a husband or boyfriend:
Watch Your Splurges: whatever you get this time should be at least as impressive as the last gift, and you may want to make sure that you can follow up with another good gift the next time. This isn’t always a problem with guys, but you can’t be sure which guys will start to think that you’re becoming lazy or uncaring. If you’ve already overstepped your means with one of your gifts in the past, try substituting expensive gifts for more resonable gifts along with a special activity. Take him to the football game and give him a personalized sports jersey of his favourite team, or cook him his favourite meal while wearing something he’d never expect to see in the kitchen.
Gifts You Want for Yourself: we’re mentioning it again. This is especially tempting with significant others, since you’ll have access to any gifts you’ve purchased. If your guy remotely suspects that the gift is more for you than for him (i.e., a new curling iron), he may get sulky and weird. (We’re assuming that you’d rather he not be sulky and weird… forgive us if we’re mistaken.)
Ask Him What he Wants: for the most part, guys aren’t expecting any mind-reading… if you don’t know what he wants, ask him. Few guys will become upset with that, but some will refuse to give you any real answers… that’s why we gave you these tips in the first place.
Five Steps to Choosing the Right Gift
Do you know what he wants? Too many guys keep what they want a secret… usually the response you’ll get for asking is along the lines of “I don’t really want anything”.
Believe me, we’re well aware of this situation that too many gift-givers find themselves in; we get quite a few people writing in for advice on what to buy.
Since a lot of people ask us what they should get, but don’t tell us what their guy is like, it’s pretty hard for us to choose the right ideas. We decided that it might help for us to present a definitive How-To for choosing the gifts your guy really wants, for Christmas, for his birthday, or for any other occasion.
There are five steps to finding a good gift:
1. Research what your guy likes
Your guy likes stuff, it’s a fact… if you don’t know what he likes, it’s because you haven’t spent the time thinking about it from a gift-buying perspective. Here are some tips to get you listening to what he wants:
Listen to what he says
- On TV: He’ll probably mention something, or at least “Oooh and Ahhh” over one or two products that are being advertised.
- While Shopping: Drag him to the mall; it may be painful for the both of you, but the results are worth it. Listen for the same whines of desire while you stroll through the “guy sections”.
- While Chatting: If you talk to him about sports, tools, music, or cars for just a moment or two, and you’ll probably get an idea of what he wants.
Snoop around his “guy areas”
- Check out what he has: Sometimes the right gift for a guy is an accessory to something he already has.
- Check out what he doesn’t have: For example, if he likes the tools, try to find out what should be in the gaping hole in the workshop.
Listen to someone close to your guy
It’s not that you’re not close to the guys on your list, but there may be things that you’re not being told that other people have found out about what your guy wants.
- Mother: She knows him well, but may be prone to suggest things he enjoyed during grade school.
- Brother or Sister: If his siblings don’t know what to get him, see if you can find something his brother has that your guy doesn’t; that’s usually something he wouldn’t mind having as well.
- Friends: These guys will probably have heard him whine about what he wishes he could have.
- Wife or Girlfriend: Hopefully the guy you’re buying only has one or the other.
Ask the recipient
Your guy may not give you a real answer, but it doesn’t hurt to try. If you’re sneaky, you can trick him into telling you. For example: “What did your mother buy you? Was it any good? What should she have bought you?”
2. Use pre-emptive shopping
Buying a gift is not that different from planning a military campaign… start early and be thorough.
Always plan well in advance.
Use your calendar… that’s what they’re made for… you can’t plan ahead if you realized his birthday was yesterday.
For birthdays, father’s day, etc, start shopping at least two weeks before; start earlier if you think you may want to buy something online, so you don’t have to pay rush shipping charges. For Christmas or other December holidays, it’s better to start the week before Thanksgiving, to beat the rush.
Remember that you don’t NEED to buy on the first day of shopping; that’s why you’ve started looking so far in advance.
Think about joining forces with another friend or family member. Not only can you get a more impressive gift than what you could buy on your own, but you can also use another person’s ideas is you’re stuck. If you still want to get a gift that’s just from you, there may be two items that go well together, and each person could buy one.
3. Avoid certain gifts
There are several gifts that you should consider avoiding; sometimes a gift comes in too many variations to choose from, while other times the gift idea is just plain bad:
- Clothes: unless you’re a reknowned clothes buyer, you may want to avoid buying him anything that involves too much sizing and style decisions. Hats, gloves, and the like are easy enough, but shirts, pants, and footwear can be difficult to get right. If you live with him, make sure you check something he’s worn recently for current sizing. If you don’t live with him, and you can’t search his clothes while he’s distracted by football, you may have to stick to hats and accessories.
- Gifts You Want For Yourself: you’re probably smart enough not to buy something for him that’s personalized with your name, but you may accidentally get something that’s more for you than for him. When you really like something, it can be easy to convince yourself that he wants it too. Gifts that can often fall into this category include kitchenware, artwork, movies, and music.
- Lottery Tickets: it’s not a horrible faux-pas to include lottery tickets with a gift, but it’s not a good idea to make them the gift itself. If your guy is unlucky, the end result of the gift is NOTHING; if he is lucky, you might start resenting him for winning on YOUR ticket.
- Offensive Gifts: a good rule to follow with buying the more offensive and off-color gifts is that your guy must be decidedly ruder than you. Keep in mind, too, that while he may enjoy the ruder gifts, he may not appreciate them in certain contexts. If all you got him for Christmas is a “Bikini Inspector” T-Shirt, he may take that as a sign that you think of him as just some crude guy, and nothing more.
- Animals and Plants: unless you have a specific reason to think your recipient needs another fish or a new ficus, stay away. Animals are a definite mistake, while plants are only for some recipients, and few of those recipients are men. Many great guys can’t nurture anything other than a beer, and of those who can, most would rather do their own choosing. Save the meaningful plant gifts for girlfriends, sisters and avid gardeners.
4. Consider certain gifts
Finally, we’re going to give you a quick list of some gifts that have been known to do well:
- Lessons for Something: quite a few people would enjoy receiving paid lessons for something they love, since it’s a way of saying that you support them in their hobbies, and it gives them an excuse to be a little more “selfish” with their time. It’s important that you know your guy’s schedule, though; no matter how much he wants to learn to Lambada, he may not have time with his job as President of the United States.
- Tickets to the Next Big Event: If you know he’ll enjoy an upcoming concert, sports game, etc., consider picking up a pair of tickets. Keep in mind, though, that if you want to make sure you’re invited along, be sure to keep one of the tickets… giving both tickets to your recipient may create an uncomfortable situation for both of you.
- Baked Goods: practically every man enjoys something from the oven; just be sure that it’s one of your better recipes.
- Gifts You’re Good at Making: if you’re a woodworker, make a nice woodwork-thingy. The same goes for any talent. Maybe you’re only good at limericks… well, just make sure it’s good (or dirty, as needed).
- Stuffed Animals: many guys like stuffed toys, when they receive them from women… it’s like a form of reverse psychology: only a REAL man can handle receiving a cuddly plush koala.
- Gift Certificates: despite what some people say, this is a great idea for the right person. If he’s the type of guy who never splurges on himself, a gift certificate will force him to actually buy or do something HE wants for once.
- Gift Baskets: a themed basket may seem like a cliché, but most people have never actually received one. Perhaps your guy wouldn’t mind feeling like a bigshot.
- Liquor: any guy who has a special brand, especially if he never feels he can afford it, would love a bottle of it for any special occasion.
- Themed Board Games: if you know your guy enjoys spending time with friends and family, perhaps a board game that matches his interests (baseball, Star Trek, cars) is the right gift — just make sure that he has some friends or relatives who like his hobby enough to play along.
- Magazine Subscriptions: if you’ve seen him reading a couple issues of the same magazine, it’s a good idea to look at getting him a subscription. If you are late ordering the subscription (i.e., it won’t start in time), just purchase a newstand copy to present him (along with the news that he’s a subscriber), to tide him over.
5. Attach a nice note
Quite a few guys like to pretend that they don’t like cards or notes with their presents; some guys will unwrap the gift before doing any reading, while others will shake the card in a search for any cash inserts.
Despite this ruse, almost all guys would appreciate a personal message with their gift; it’s a way for you to say that this person is special, and that buying him a gift was not just done out of some sense of obligation.
Most people choose store-bought cards to give; while this is a perfectly reasonable thing to do, we do recommend adding some personal comments to the card. Some people just write a quick message, “I Love You” or “You’re the Best!”, while other people write long passages. The decision on what to write should be made based on what you’re comfortable doing; if you’ve forced yourself to write a certain message, your difficulty in writing it may be apparent to the reader. Some people feel more comfortable attaching a timely quote to their gift cards.
Note: Extra Advice for Husband and Boyfriend Gifts
There are a few extra things to consider when the guy you’re buying for is a husband or boyfriend:
- Watch Your Splurges: whatever you get this time should be at least as impressive as the last gift, and you may want to make sure that you can follow up with another good gift the next time. This isn’t always a problem with guys, but you can’t be sure which guys will start to think that you’re becoming lazy or uncaring. If you’ve already overstepped your means with one of your gifts in the past, try substituting expensive gifts for more resonable gifts along with a special activity. Take him to the football game and give him a personalized sports jersey of his favourite team, or cook him his favourite meal while wearing something he’d never expect to see in the kitchen.
- Gifts You Want for Yourself: we’re mentioning it again. This is especially tempting with significant others, since you’ll have access to any gifts you’ve purchased. If your guy remotely suspects that the gift is more for you than for him (i.e., a new curling iron), he may get sulky and weird. (We’re assuming that you’d rather he not be sulky and weird… forgive us if we’re mistaken.)
- Ask Him What he Wants: for the most part, guys aren’t expecting any mind-reading… if you don’t know what he wants, ask him. Few guys will become upset with that, but some will refuse to give you any real answers… that’s why we gave you these tips in the first place.
You can search for gifts for your guy (and for anyone else) at Gift Spool.
